“The anniversary date of a loved one's death is particularly significant. You will have done something you thought was impossible a few months earlier. You will have survived an entire year without someone who was as important to you as life itself.”― Bob Diets
|The last ride I had with my brother before he passed away.|
No matter how close you were, or how long you knew them, or even if they were human or not, love is forever. When a friend, a relative, or a beloved pet passes, whether from natural or alternative causes, the feelings of loss and grief can seem unbearable. A lot of people have experienced the same event, the loss of a loved one, but nobody can have the same experience, as death affects everybody in individual ways.
‘Grief’ is such a small word, with such long lasting effects to your life. As the old cliché says, time heals all wounds, but grieving is a period after the death that is always needed, and can last for as little or as long a time as you need it to. How can I help in this grieving, this mourning period? Short answer is, you can’t really. If you or a relative is mourning, all you can do is be there for them and offer silent support. Chances are, anything you try to say to make the situation better will probably be misinterpreted. It is better to simply be there and your friend will appreciate it when they truly need it.
After the initial mourning period, there are some things you can do to help preserve the memory of the deceased in the most positive light. This is also helpful for mourners, as like with a funeral, it provides some sort of closure from the death. Remembering is good; it strengthens you and helps you to move on.
You could collect the ashes in an urn, to be displayed in the family room or on the mantelpiece, showing the departed as still a part of family life and as a reminder that they will always be with you. Or if you wanted to provide a more personalised memorial, customised jewellery is always appreciated, plus with memorial necklaces and chokers, the memory is held close to the heart as a constant reminder.
If your family member or friend had a favourite plant, you could plant them in your garden or the local charity plot, as a reminder. Tending flowers is a great way to relieve stress and take a step back from the world, plus those flowers can be a strong symbol for rebirth and new life. If the deceased worked for a long time with a particular charity, a donation in their name would be a great way to respect the deceased, plus you are also helping to improve someone else’s life.
However the departed has affected your life, you cannot let their memory go to waste. Neither can you stop living without moving forwards, or try to fit their shoes by taking on more responsibility than you can handle. Life goes on, and you need to go with it, but never forget that your loved one is with you every step of the way, in one way or another.
About the Author
Paula Arterton writes for a number of online publications on dealing with grief and has contributed this post on behalf of Kate’s Jewellery, the online handmade jewellery store that specializes in unique memorial jewellery to give you a permanent memento of somebody you’ve lost.